Windows 7 home premium key  |  buy Windows 7 sp1 key  |  windows 7 key sale  |  windows 7 VL key  |  windows 7 product key  |  windows 7 pro key  |  windows 7 activation key  |  windows 7 ultimate 64bit key  |  windows 7 professional product key  |  windows 8 product key sale  |  windows 8 activation key  |  windows 8 pro product key sale  |  windows 8 professional 64bit product key  |  Windows 8 Enterprise product key  |  Windows 8.1 Professional key  |  windows 8.1 pro key sale  |  windows 8.1 kms activation key  |  buy win8.1 key  |  windows 10 pro product key  |  buy windows 10 product key  |  activation windows 10 key  |  Windows 10 key sale  |  Windows 10 key  |  windows 10 product key  |  Windows Server 2012 R2 key  |  Windows Server 2008 key  |  Microsoft Office 2016 key  |  Office 2016 Key  |  Microsoft Office 2007 key  |  Office 2010 product key  |  Office 2013 pro key  |  Office 2013 prouct key  |  windows 7 product key  |  Windows 10 key  |  Windows 10 key  |  Windows 10 key genuine  |  Windows 10 enterprise 64bit key  |  windows 7 home premium key  |  window 7 serial key  |  Windows server 2012 key  |  Windows 16 key  |  Windows 10 activation key  |


Your Phone Is Ruining Your Relationship—Here’s Why You Should Put It Down

Cell phones. They used to be harmless flip phones. You could barely get on the internet, and the only game available was snake. Texting was prolific, sure, but you couldn’t sit on your phone all day. That has totally changed. Cell phones in today’s world are “smartphones,” and they are sapping the life out of your relationship. That’s right, you probably spend more time on your smartphone than you do with your significant other. Maybe that doesn’t seem like a big deal to you. Maybe Twitter and Facebook and staying up with the latest hot posts on Instagram are more fun than your significant other. But you are still robbing yourself of a genuine human experience, and nothing can replace that.

If you are finding yourself on your smartphone more than you are talking face to face with your significant other, than maybe you need a new date. Online dating is more successful than ever, with sites like Match, OKCupid, Eharmony, and others  helping people all over the world to find the right date. These sites often use high risk credit card processors such as If you want to find someone that you are truly compatible with, that you don’t have to hide your face in your phone for, then it is probably time to get into online dating.

Online dating offers you a plethora of different dating options, so that you can choose the person who best fits your needs. If you want to find someone who also likes hiking, then you can do just that. If you want to find someone you can play soccer with on the weekends, you can find that too. It is all about finding the right match and fit for your goals, and finding someone that you like enough not to have to use your smartphone to ignore them. Make sure that you use an online dating site to find the right person for you.

Discount Rates And Flexible Rates Provided By Escort Amsterdam

The ladies in the escort agencies are free to do whatever they want with customer and this would be added advantage for them.  Each escort agency in Agency is following different procedures for their existing and new clients. They are able to provide high class escort services with their beautiful, charming, and intelligent girls at all times. Each escort girl will be offering different rates and this is because of their style, structure, age, experience, and type of services provided to the customers. Such information will also available in their website and this would be a better and prime choice for making girls of our own.

Some of the websites will be offering special packages and rates on special days which would be attractive options for their customers at all times. Some of the Escort Amsterdam is offering discount rates on special occasions as well. Such discount rates will be available for customers only if they book their desired girl well in advance of their trip. Men booking after that time period, they will be applicable to normal rates only. Some of the agency will be clearer on their rate and they will not offer any kind of surprise rate at the last moment of their service with the customer.

Girls who are spending time in customer location will be provided with travelling cost along with tax rate. Some of the agencies are offering special loyalty program such that customer are able to enjoy reduced rate out of it. They will be publishing possible number of discount rates in their own website and it would be more helpful for customers to get to know about it. They will not negotiate on their rate and this is because of their finest quality of service at all times.

Different Methods Of Payment Available In Escort Agency

Each escort agency will be following different sets of payment options for providing desired service and it is also classified for both new and existing customers with their agency. Most common acceptable currency from the customers is Euros, USD, and GBP. They will be using daily conversion rate and additional banking charges along with their usual service amount from customers. They will be accepting all types of international and local cards and 10 percent will be taken as surcharge from it. They will be checking the card for verification and identification on their arrival. Some of the customers are wishing to pay their amount through debit cards and it is obtained with the help of portable pin machine.

The website is allowed to locate local pin machines in the same locality. Some of the customers are interested on online money transfer option and we need to make sure the deadline mentioned in each website. They will be giving deadline as one day prior if it is a local transaction and they will be providing deadline as three days prior to the service if it is an international money transaction. The ideal is the dedicated option provided to Dutch banks alone and it is obtained with the help of internet and email account.

Mistakes that can Damage a Relationship

So fragile, yet lovely; this is the most fitting definition to any relationship, be it marriage, romance or living together. No one is perfect in the world, at least when it comes to relationships. People often commit mistakes. It is a common rule referring the human behavior that men learn from mistakes. But at the same time, some mistakes, if committed may cause irreparable damage to relationships and life itself.

It is always advisable to avoid relationship mistakes as relationships are union of two people; thus a mistake committed may affect both of them. Certain mistakes may lead to unfixable breakups and being sorry after committing a mistake may not help regaining the trust and love of the person. Let us see some of the most common mistakes people commit when they are in relationships.

Losing Control

If you want to sustain the relationship further or for the lifetime, be in control of yourself. Many people lose control easily, especially with the life partner. Marriage or mutual agreement of getting into relationship is not a license to express as you feel it. Losing control is a sign of considering the partner less important or inferior. Frequent act of losing control in conversations or actions may irritate the partner and lessen the intensity of the romance between two.

Lack of Communication

Communication is the only way for two people to know each other and understand the mind or each person. It also conveys the love, passion and all other feelings one holds for the other. Many people get into ill communication with partners and as a result the relationship may become less intense. It is common that people complaining of lack of conversation between the couples.

Talking to each other boosts the relationship and reduces possible tensions. It is helpful to communicate what a person needs from the other and what is expected. Lack of communication or ill communication is equally destructive elements in a relationship. Your communication style should be one that gives enough respect to the listener.

No Overnight Arguments

Do not take your arguments to the next day and be always vigilant to put an end to the arguments before you go to bed. Many people get into unwanted arguments and continue with the same topic when they get up the next day. In a relationship, arguments should not be considered as a sign of dignity or status. Even if you feel that you are right and the other person is absolutely wrong, when the other person doesn’t give up, you can be silent for the sake of peaceful living and happy relationship.

Denial of Sex

Sex is inevitable in relationships especially in marriage. Do not consider sex as your favor to the partner and never deny it as a resistance or protest to him/her. When a partner is denied with sex, he/she may feel hurt and may feel less interested in the relationship. Better you can solve all the issues by proper communication before you get into the bed and start anew with satisfying sexual activities. When somebody protests by denying the sex to him/her, the person may look for the sexual satisfaction in some other person and the relationship may suffer a breakup.

Lack of Romance and Commitment

Many relationships suffer from lack of romance and commitment. People in relationship should not hold back the expressions of romance to the other person. At no situations, romance is improper in marriage. In fact romance is the most obvious expression of affection and love in a relationship. Being committed to the partner is equally important to expressing romance. Unfaithful partners are the most common reason behind divorce and breakups. If you want the relationship to go proceed happily, then be committed to the partner and always maintain the trust with him/her.

Keeping Secrets From the Partner

Keeping secrets from the partner is a mistake many people commit in relationships. Secrets and unrevealed realms in life may make the partners feel poles apart and unattached. Never keep secrets from the partner and importantly, even if you keep secrets, you partner should not come to know that you keep secrets from him/her.

How to handle emotions in romance?

Love is the most beautiful feeling that god has gifted to mankind. Those people who get someone whom they love and also get the reciprocation of love are the luckiest people. Life becomes beautiful in the companionship of such a loving partner. But the path of love is not always smooth and romantic.

A romantic relationship has its share of challenges that one has to go through. Since this directly concerns with the emotions and deep personal feelings, it is important that the person manages his emotions well and doesn’t lost the perspective of things in the flow of emotions. Someone loves you for support, care and strength , so you need to be emotionally stable and capable of providing support to the person for a strong relationship.

The very beginning of gaining mastery over your emotions is to admit to yourself that you have got a problem. You must ask yourself questions relating to how you would behave if your girlfriend leaves you at the present stage of life? How would you react if you find her to be cheating on you? Not being negative, but these are the actual scenarios that one may face in a relationship, and then his capability to overcome these challenges will be tested. It is better to be prepared beforehand. You should have the mentality that among the whole world and one girl, the world is important to you. You have other relationships to nurture and take care of. And you have many lovely potential partners too to look around!

In a relationship there are many situations and one such situation is that when your partner tests your reaction by throwing some tantrums, seeking to know how you will handle them. You should be prepared for such situations. Carefully try to recollect what are the things that made you feel low or discouraged in your relationship in the last one month or so.

Try to answer yourself what was the probable shortcoming in you that lead to that negative feeling creep up in you. Once you identify that, find out the ways to get your of such a negative emotions. If in the past, you have got dumped by your girlfriend(s) and you have ended up being on your knees or begging them to come back to your life, then the word of caution is , don’t do it again. Make sure that as your partner has done, you also move on with some hotter person who can calm and soothe your feelings.

Believe in yourself, you yourself are the comprehensive person that you always wanted to be You are not diffident or insecure as you presume to be , and you do not need to be someone else to attract the opposite sex for a potential love relationship. You need to throw away all the fears and self consciousness that you have harbored in yourself.

You have to believe that you are perfect and do not require any development to be a alpha human being. Developing such kind of confidence will help you abundantly in dealing with your present relationship. The belief in yourself will make you glow and your partner will be more attracted to you than ever.

Focus on yourself; you are the important person among the two of you in the relationship. Do not beg her to come back to the relationship, if you have compromised with your feelings once, remember you will keep on repeating that. Instead focus on how to improve yourself with the test of a relationship.

Tips on Fixing a Broken Relationship

Relationships are so delicate and can break on minor issues and simple misunderstandings. Once broken, it is a die-hard task to mend the relationship and get back the same intensity of affection in the relationship. There can be visible reasons, may be a misunderstanding or communication gap, at times it can be a mistake of someone else; fragile relationships can break over any simple cause. The cause for the easy breaks in relationships is that relationships are mind products, subjective to each person.

Many relationships are not the union of best possible matches but best available pairs, or when people misconceive the partner so. Relationships start blindly by peripheral understandings and attraction; it proceeds through adjustments, forgiveness and understanding; and breakup over misunderstandings, mistakes or lack of tolerance. Getting back into the relationship, though difficult, is possible if approached the issues with the right understanding and mind to change and mend.

Understand the Reasons Behind Breakup

To resolve any issue, understanding the reasons is important. Without knowing the root cause, relationship issues cannot be repaired. It can be a past reason which is now absent or a still persisting reason. Analyze each stages of the relationship and find out at which point what has gone wrong. Once the reasons of the break up are realized, the solution may be easy. Figuring out the element that lead to the breakup helps the partners to change it and get back into the relationship. Experts say that the process of figuring out the reasons of breakup can be much effective if made mutual.

Forgiving is Magical

Once the issues are dug out, the next step is to forgive the mistakes of both the partners. If you still hold on to the mistake committed by the partner, then it may cause another breakup in the future. Understand why the partner committed such a mistake and forgive him/her forever if you wish to take the relationship a long way further. Your forgiveness may initiate a new life and new relationship between you two. If the mistake is found to have committed by you, then be ready to change entirely to not to repeat the action and let your partner to go away forever, leaving no chance of a reunion.

Renew the Commitment

Once you are back in track, renew the commitment and let your partner know the new resolutions and decisions. Once you commit to be good to your partner and also to avoid mistakes, then adhere to the commitments. Many partners get into commitments and they forget them easily. Consistency of commitments is very much required to keep the warmth of relationships ever remaining. It is rightly said that you can never change the past; but possibly the future. Realize the past mistakes and commit to not repeat them in the future.

Change Yourself

You may not be able to change the partner as you desire; but you can very well change yourself. Changing yourself is the better way of resolving the issues and renewing the problems. The changes may make you appear more appealing and accepted by the partner. You can also try to implement certain changes in the partner but if the person is willing, then the only way is to change yourself to comply with the partner. Changing oneself doesn’t mean being submissive to the partner, but following a better way to be in a more satisfying relationship.

Communication is the Keystone

Most of the issues in relationships can be resolved with right communication with the partner. It is commonly observed that slight misunderstanding or ignorable mistakes are many a times the cause for several breakups. Approach the issues in a relationship, positively and try to make each partners understand the real situation. Communication means conveying the facts and truth and also offering support, help and forgiveness each other. Talk with a mind of acceptance. Do not try to defend or resist the arguments of the partner and accuse each other for all the mistakes. Let the communication be creative, rather critical.

Secretes of a Happy Relationship

Relationships like marriage, romance, live together or any of similar kinds can be sustained with a happy note if some of the secret rules are followed. Relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help proceeding happily in a relationship.

Many of these, so called, rules are based on the life experience of many happy couple and also the observation of people. When two people get into relationships, many of them wish for lasting relationships. But pathetically, a good number of them go apart after a while, in search of new partners. Let us see the secrets that constitute long lasting relationships or ever remaining relationships.

Breakup and Divorce are not the Solution

When asked about the best possible way of resolving the issues in relationships or marriage, many people may comment that breakup or a divorce is the best possible method of putting an end to all the troubles in a relationships. It is the biggest mistake people commit.

The reason for increased divorce rate is analyzed as the mentality of people who even before getting into a relationship think divorce as means of solving possible issues in it. Divorce is never an option but it’s the utmost decision to be taken in life only at an inevitable situation. Do not even think about a breakup or marriage whenever you confront with minor issues in relationships. Issues are just byproducts of the happiness experienced in the relationships.

No Perfect Relationships, but Perfect Situations

No one can be considered in a perfect relationship, how happy the couple is, as happiness in a relationship is just the happiness of the situations created by the partners. No relationship, as a whole, is destined to be jovial and satisfying. There can be moments of happiness and moments of struggles.

The couple who learns the secrets of balancing both happiness and struggles wins the life and enjoys the best possible relationship and life. When in tension or issues, many people may think that they are fated to fall in to wrong relationship, and at the same time ignore the possible chances of making each moments in life happy by understanding the partner a bit more and adjusting a bit more.

Never be Afraid or Make Him/Her Afraid

Another secret of happy relationship lies in being open and frank with the partner. Do not feel afraid to express you mind to the partner and never ever make him/her afraid of you to tell out the mind. When people communicate each other many of the issues can be melted down. An issue, how ignorable it is, when kept in mind for several days, can take forms of anger, frustration, dislike etc., and get expressed in the most undesirable manners. Let the communication between the partners be a frequent element and no one should hold the words when he/she really wants to talk.

Love Defined is Respect and Care

You can just tell that you love your partner but can never express the love as it is. There is no emotion like love, but it comes as a package which includes, respect, care, share, dedication, forgiveness etc., express the emotions whenever possible to make the other person feel the intensity of your love. Do not be a miser in loving the partner and let your love be unconditional. It is rightly said that love is defined as respect and care. When the partner feels that you do not care for him/her or do not give him/her the due respect, the person may think of an alternative to you.

Always Support Each Other

Never ever leave your partner unsupported. Whatever be the opinions and ideas, know that you are the only one he/she can lean for support. When both of you are alone, you can argue among yourself on points you disagree with the other one, but in public both of you have only one mind. Holding the hands, especially when he/she is sad or broken, is helpful to convey you care for the person. Once you have decided to live together, then no questions of separation may arise, even in the opinions.

The ‘Sexy Sons’ Theory of What Women are Attracted to in Men

A team of psychologists from Oakland University in the United States have just published new research which reveals that psychologists might be able to predict what kind of man a woman is more likely to achieve an orgasm with.

This is the type that women rate as being found more attractive by other women.

Raj Persaud
Source: Raj Persaud

Published in the academic journal, ‘Personality and Individual Differences’, the research explains why men found attractive by other women are more likely to deliver better erotic experiences.

The study argues that women want to have sons who are also eventually found more desirable by the opposite sex.

This theory is referred to as the ‘sexy sons’ hypothesis of sexual selection, and explains a yet hitherto hidden factor in women’s desire for certain men, and women’s experience of physical relations.

Evolutionary psychology argues that the female orgasm may have evolved as an erotic response designed to retain sperm during certain sexual encounters.

Biological theory about the female orgasm is that it evolved to increase relationship satisfaction (this is referred to as the ”Pair-Bond” Hypothesis) or to retain preferentially the sperm of men with higher genetic quality (”Sire Choice” Hypothesis).

The achievement of an orgasm, evolutionary psychologists contend, makes it more likely that an egg will be fertilized.

If the sire-choice role of the female orgasm is true, then natural selection would have shaped the female body (and brain) to be more likely to achieve an orgasm during sex with a more desirable mate.

‘Desirable’ in this context refers to evolutionary desirability, which means men whosegenes women, consciously or unconsciously, chose to pass on to their sons for the son’s future reproductive success.

It makes sense, from an evolutionary standpoint, that if women want their own genes to be successfully transmitted on through future generations that they would be motivated to produce sons who are found physically desirable by the opposite sex. The more desirable these sons are, the more likely they are to be successful in the mating game, by either having sexual access to more women and/or securing higher quality mates – thus achieving evolutionary reproductive success.

This new study is entitled, ‘Female copulatory orgasm and male partner’s attractiveness to his partner and other women’, and involved recruiting 439 women, in committed heterosexual relationships.

Intriguingly, the study excluded 32 women from the analysis, because they were unsure, or could not remember, whether they had an orgasm, the last time they had sexual intercourse with their partner.

Raj Persaud
Source: Raj Persaud

The authors of the study, Yael Sela, Viviana Weekes-Shackelford, Todd Shackelford and Michael Pham, found that women who perceive that other women find their partner to be more attractive, are more likely to report orgasm at last sexual encounter.

While assessments of how attractive women themselves find their partner predict how likely women are to achieve an orgasm during sex with their male partner, it is how attractive the women believe other women find their partner, that appears a better predictor of how likely they are to have an orgasm.

It is not so much how intensely you fancy your male partner that predicts how likely you are to achieve an orgasm, but more how much you think other women fancy your male partner which seems to predict better sexual intercourse with him.

This is exactly what the ‘sexy sons’ hypothesis would predict.

This hypothesis claims that women find certain men more physically desirable because they possess markers of good genes (those which build a desirable man) which, if passed on to their sons, will contribute to these sons desirability to other women.

Women are motivated to retain genes that build “sexy fathers” in order to have “sexy sons”.

The study seems silent on a ‘sexy daughters’ hypothesis. Maybe the female characteristics a woman passes on to her daughters, has more to do with her herself, than the man she picks, whose male features are being chosen because these are going to be shown more in her sons.

This kind of evolutionary psychology argument endorses the view that men are less discriminating about mating opportunities than women.

Raj Persaud
Source: Raj Persaud

When men find a woman physically desirable, they also tend to be uninfluenced by the view of other men. So, for example, whether a man finds Megan Fox fanciable or not will be based almost completely on his own reaction to her, and very little on knowledge that she is found ‘hot’ by lots of other men.

But we also know from other psychology research that women’s assessment of how drawn they are to a potential mate is much more influenced by how desirable they notice other women find that man.

For women, the assessment of a good quality male mate is more complex, and women therefore use the assessments of other women to guide their choice.

If people are like hotels, then women appear wired up to use a kind of ‘Trip Advisor’ in their brains, whether they consciously realise it or not, before choosing a mate.

Men, in contrast, appear happy to settle for bed and breakfast.

Follow Dr Raj Persaud on Twitter: is external)@DrRajPersaud

Raj Persaud and Peter Bruggen are joint podcast editors for the Royal College of Psychiatrists and also now have a free app on iTunes and Google Play store entitled ‘Raj Persaud in conversation’, which includes a lot of free information on the latest research findings in mental health, psychology, psychiatry and neuroscience, plus interviews with top experts from around the world.

Is He the One?


We get together for many reasons, and not always the right ones.

  • Inevitably the question comes up… Is he or she the one? Let’s examine essential questions that can help you come to the right answer for yourself.
  • You want to get this right when, even with the best efforts, it often goes wrong.

Let’s try to stack the deck in your favor.


Most of us are attracted to novelty because the mind loves it.

Sexual energy is stirred up by the new: new lips, new hips, new eyes, a new embrace and yes, new sex. So it is often not hard (forgive the pun) to get excited about a new romance. It’s one reason so many fail. People fall in love (including erotic love) with love and not with a person.

  • The key is to be interested in your partner when the sense of newness fades away and intense interest begins.
  • Attraction is of the body AND the mind.

Some people are attracted to partners that make them feel safe, while others are excited by that man or woman that they can never truly have. (This is how narcissists thrive!)

As time passes, note whether you remain interested in him or her. And if it’s because he’snot emotionally available, get some therapy. Such relationships may get you good sex, but he’ll inevitably drive you crazy when you sense that you are not as important to him as you may want.

For some, relationships transmute into friendships, where sex becomes a bit off-putting, if not incestuous. Even if you love her, try not to settle for this. With the addition of children, the partnership may grow, but not the lust. Without the glue of attraction, your partner may end up looking elsewhere.

Sex should be playful, creative and yet seriously exciting. You have to be able to let go. And, for many, foreplay is the most tender part, holding hands, stroking each other’s hair, feeling the other’s touch…a comfort of body on body.

So, you have been with her for some time. Are you still mad crazy about her body? Do you still want him, and want him again? If so, you have something.


Personalities can blend together well. They can clash as well. And even if the sex is great, not everyone can get along with you… and vice versa. Aristotle taught us the golden mean, and I think it works with relationships as well. Sometimes two extroverts simply require too much energy to thrive. Some of the happiest couples that I’ve known have abalance between introvert and extrovert.

One carries more color. One keeps things more stable.

Often, it’s nice to complement each other. She teaches you to get out more. He teaches you to enjoy the grounding of home. Over the long haul this kind of balance will play out well. If you are too far apart in the extrovert/introvert dynamic, then problems will arise as you both will fail to get your needs met.

Fit is about balance.

Ask yourself if you have a good fit with your potential partner.

Home Life:

After treating countless families and twenty & thirty year olds, it often comes down to what happens during a 24 hour period at home. Do you walk on eggshells? Are you completely comfortable in your own home? Or, do you carry some tension about how he or she may react to whatever may come up?

  • Stay with people who co-inhabit an easy home life.

The world is tough enough out there. In fact, it’s a pretty cold place.

So your home needs to be a calm, happy respite at the end of the day. If you and your partner are arguing, tense, and never quite settled, please consider seeing a counselor. You are participating in a less than adequate relationship, which has the potential to get worse, particularly with the pressures of money and children. And sometimes people stick in such relationships because that is all they know from their own family of origins or they believe that they can fix a broken person. Watch out.

Go for a happy and easy home life.

Let the hard stuff happen elsewhere, like at work and such.


Get to know your partner’s parents.

How they interact with each other will give you a clue about how your partner will be with you. Do they show love and respect for each other? Or, is it a cold or cranky marriage? And, if they are divorced, get a sense how dignified they were in dealing with the divorce. How people leave partners they used to love says a lot about character. Some divorces work well. And some leave lasting… and open wounds.

While your partner may come from an unhappy background, get a sense whether he or she has truly dealt with the lack of trust or potential abuse experienced growing up.

  • These wounds go deep and you don’t want to be the displaced object of hurt, anger or control.

There are few more terrible things than to be close to someone who carries a volcano of hurt or anger from the past. You will not be spared.

That being said, many people from wounded backgrounds, whether it’s divorce, abuse or even from an intact family with high conflict, can and do develop the determination to do it better with their beloved. Great therapy can truly help.

Just make sure that he or she has done the work.

Mental Quirks:

Everyone has issues. Yes, everyone.

When you are intimate with someone you enter what I have previously called, The Field of Intimacy. It is like a special field where you feel close to your partner and he to you. It is because of that special field that the good feelings of love and attraction come about.

The flipside is that there is no one – and I mean on one – who can hurt you like the one you love. The Field of Intimacy opens people up to love and validation. It also opens us up to hurt, disappointment, and often, abandonment fears.

If you or your partner have a psychiatric disorder it is crucial to have complete transparency. Most disorders are completely treatable, as long as the patient is steadfast in their treatment. So, you don’t want to dismiss a person with an anxiety disorder, mood disorder or an addiction out of hand. It depends on how it manifests and how your partner takes control of it.

Good relationships require two imperfect people helping each other go forward.

If your partner understands his or her problem, and can help you see what’s what, then welcome to the complexities of a good relationship.

If on the other hand, he or she has a psychiatric issue that being hidden from you,consider buying a ticket out of the relationship.


The main stressors in marriage, aside from compatibility, are sex and money.

You must be able to talk about money openly. What are your expectations…and hers? Do you have a sense of how income will be coming in? Will one of you stay home when children enter the scene?

It is often tough to talk about money because it raises anxiety for all involved and sound trite. If you can’t deal with this productively, please consider a pre-marital counselor who can help you get a sense of how you both want to live. You can avoid some nasty disappointments, if you talk a bit early on.

Old Relationships:

With regard to old relationships, ask yourself whether he or she had longstanding relationships or not?  You want to be with a person who understands in his or her gut, what it means to enjoy a long-term relationship year after year.

On the other hand, you don’t want to be caught in a rebound situation, which happens more than we might like to think.

  • You want him to love you for you. Not just because he needs someone now.

The relationship may still work, but the dice is loaded against you because she is entering the relationship to avoid feeling of loss, rather than because she’s enthralled with you. Once again, couples counseling may be helpful to tease out what’s going on.

If you are marrying with children involved, an ex-spouse may be in the picture. If they are your children, you will have to deal with the complexities of what they should call your partner (not Dad or Mom), and how you will parent together knowing that there is another parent out there who may have a different opinion.

Re-blended families are doable, but not without work.

Handling Conflict:

Finally, look carefully at how the two of you handle conflict.

Do you avoid it? Does one of you stuff their feelings? What triggers each of you? Are you or your potential partner so defensive there’s never a sorry, or a repair of a wrong?

And how long does it take for the two of you to come back to equilibrium?

  • Some couples bounce back quickly.
  • Some hold onto resentment for a long time, only to strike again when provoked.

How you fight and make up is part and parcel of compatibility and making an easy going home. If it’s hard to deal with conflict or one of you needs to win at the other’s expense, consider getting help – or leaving. It only gets harder when kids, money, illness and outside pressures challenge your marriage.

Why Do You Try To Make Your Partner Jealous?

At one time or another, jealousy likely becomes an issue in relationships. This “issue” can range from a simple conversation to a heated argument. Naturally, then, social scientists have spent years studying jealousy. Though this has been the subject of much research, it remains a complicated process. While various definitions of jealousy exist, a common perspective emphasizes the idea of loss: “Jealousy is considered an emotional state that involves the threat of loss to a potential rival (Teismann & Mosher, 1978; taken from Goodboy, Horan, & Booth-Butterfield, 2012).

Though the study of jealousy is robust, there has been a recent academic focus uponunderstanding jealousy evocation, or times when one works to make his/her partner jealous. Recent studies have worked to understand this complex behavior. Dainton and Gross (2008), for example, asked participants how they work to maintain their relationships…and, surprisingly, jealousy evocation was one method participants cited (read more here:…).

Why might this be? Researchers have speculated that evoking jealousy might function as a secret test. In other words, individuals might think that they can gauge their partner’s commitment based on his/her responses to jealousy manipulation attempts. Though this is one common speculation, it is not a recommended behavior. Still, a new study helps us understand part of this reasoning through its examination of relationship factors.

Marissa Pytlak and Laura Zerega (my former student), under the direction of their co-author and advisor, Dr. Marian Houser, examined three relationship factors that may explain jealousy evocation; this study appears in the latest issue of Communication Quarterly. Specifically, they focused upon commitment, satisfaction, and uncertainty.

Commitment is ‘‘an intent to persist in a relationship, including long-term orientation toward the involvement as well as feelings of psychological attachment’’ whereas satisfaction is ‘‘positive versus negative affect experienced in a relationship’’ (Rusbult et al., 1998, p. 359). These two factors can predict whether couples stay together for the long haul (read more here:…). Uncertainty, or the study of our reactions to not knowing something, is a motivator of communication. Applied to relationships, Pytlak et al. explain that “relational uncertainty is defined by an inability to predict and explain one’s own behavior and the behavior of others (Afifi & Reichert, 1996).” They argued that these three factors might help explain the frequency with which one makes attempts to make his/her partner feel jealous.

This research team found that individuals who reported higher attempts at making their partners jealous also reported low levels of satisfaction, high levels of uncertainty, and low levels of perceived partner commitment. That said, when examining the unique predictive abilities of each variable, perceived level of partner commitment emerged as the only predictor of jealousy evocation.

Collectively, then, perceptions of commitment appear to be important in understanding jealousy evocation behaviors. Thus, one way to temper jealousy evocation might be through increased assurances. Regardless, this remains a complex behavior to understand, and one that may lead to conflict.

Entry based on:

Pytlak, M. A., Zerega, L. M., & Houser, M. L. (2015). Jealousy evocation: Understanding commitment, satisfaction, and uncertainty as predictors of jealousy evoking behavior. Communication Quarterly, 63, 310-328. doi: 10.1080/01463373.2015.1039716

Goodboy, A. K., Horan, S. M., & Booth-Butterfield, M. (2012). Intentional jealousy evoking behavior in romantic relationships as a function of received partner affection and love styles. Communication Quarterly, 60, 370-385. doi: 10.1080/01463373.2012.688792

Can Screaming or Yelling Be Bad for Your Relationship?

The short answer is that anything in excess is usually a bad thing; and this appears to be true in the case of relationships that involve a heavy dosage of screaming or yelling.  By “screaming” or “yelling,” what I mean is raising one’s voice.

Many people think that they can’t help raising their voices.  They think it is “normal” and is largely out of their control.  But is it really?  So, why do people scream or yell in the first place?

It is useful to notice that human beings are not the only animals to exhibit similar behavior.  When an animal, say a dog, is presented with an external stimulus he interprets to be threatening, he may growl or bark loudly.  This verbal behavior appears to be based on the evolutionary drive for survival that is prewired.  Similarly, yelling or screaming, or other self-defensive change in intonation or behavior in humans, appears to be based on the survival instinct.  Such behavioral responses are largely mediated by the brain’s limbic system which engages a part of the brain called the amygdala.  This emotional center of the brain can determine that an external event is threatening, and can activate the hypothalamus, which engages the “fight or flight” system (AKA the sympathetic nervous system).  It is notable that, in response to a threatening situation, the cerebral cortex may be engaged only after the limbic system is engaged.  Say, for example, you are taking a stroll and you see a large black Labrador retriever sitting on a lawn gazing intently at you.  If you were once attacked by a Labrador, then you may immediately become agitated and put into “fight or flight” mode.  Adrenalin is pumped to your gross muscles; your heart rate increases; your respiration increases. And you can even feel these changes going on inside you. For example, you feel your heart pounding.  Then you notice that the dog is chained up and cannot even reach you if he tried.  So you begin to reason that you are probably not really in immediate danger, after all.  As such, you react first and think second in such situations perceived as threatening.  The role of our higher thought centers in the brain (the ones involved in reasoning and evaluation) is then to adjust the response. Whether, to what extent, and just how your automatic defensive response is sustained depends upon what you tell yourself about the situation.  If you conclude that the dog is not really a threat, you can begin to restore your bodily response to homeostasis.  If you conclude that it is still a threat (“How do I know that dog won’t break loose and come charging at me!”), then you can sustain your agitation, and may be poised to scream loudly at the dog, “Get the hell away from me!”

This does not mean that prior thought cannot engage your limbic system.  Indeed, it can and often does.   Indeed, we human beings also have a level of secondary emotions that are not prewired responses but arise as a result of prior reasoning and evaluation.  These emotions include anger responsive to external events.  Such secondary emotions can also lead to bodily agitation and the tendency toward self-protective responses, including yelling or screaming.  This is often the case when it comes to interpersonal relationships.  Suppose, for example, your partner is late coming home from work on the eve of your fifth anniversary.  There you are: sitting and waiting, ready to get the celebration started, and no sign of him.  So you begin to think, “How could he have done this to me on our anniversary; he really must not love me, that no good rotten bastard!”  You then feel the anger swelling up in your body. Your heart starts pounding, you feel a lump in your throat, and you feel jittery throughout your body.  Now you are poised to give the “bastard” a piece of your mind as soon as he comes walking through the door, which includes raising your voice (yelling or screaming) or other verbally defensive behavioral responses.  Of course, you could tell yourself that you cannot let him know just how you are really feeling, so you could feign a nonchalant demeanor while you are raging inside. On the other hand, you could tell yourself that what he did was so awful that it must be dealt with immediately. Then you would be giving yourself permission to hit him with both barrels, which, quite often, includes raising your voice loudly.

A major problem with such verbally aggressive responses is that they, in turn, tend to be met with similar defensive responses from the target, who may self-defensively perceive your response as being personally offensive.  “It wasn’t my fault.  I had to get an assignment done. You really have no right to talk to me like that!”  This, in turn, can lead to further retaliation (“You didn’t have the brains to call me; I hope you rot in hell!”), which can set off an escalating cycle of self-defensive responses.   Often, because one does one’s serious thinking afterwards, the result is regret.  In the case of an ongoing relationship, unless there is some constructive change made, the same vicious cycle of self-protective responses is likely to be repeated again and again in the course of the relationship.  The result is then further alienation and regret.

In some cases, the defensive response may be for one party to the relationship to adapt to the aggressive treatment (being scolded, for example), which leads to passive acceptance.  In this form of dysfunctional relationship, the resentment continues to fester beneath the surface of the veneer of acceptability.  In other cases, where there is “fighting back,” there can be constant conflict until the relationship ends.  Unfortunately, some couples spend a lifetime engaging in such a self-defeating state of conflict, until one of the parties dies.

This is not to say that conflict is necessarily a bad thing.  Indeed, relationships in which there is rarely or never any form of verbally expressed discontent with one’s partner may be just a façade.  However, there is a difference between “heart to heart” talks about perceived problems in a relationship, and yelling or sparring matches.  While the former can lead to constructive change, the latter tends to be self-destructive.

So, if you are in such a destructive combative relationship, can there be constructive change?

The first thing to realize is that, as a member of homo sapiens, your verbal outbursts, unlike the dog’s  “growling” or “loud barking,” can be regulated—sustained, quashed, or avoided—by a  highly developed cerebral cortex.  In other words, you have the power to think rationally or to think irrationally about external events.  Your self-protective mechanism is thus a double-edged sword.  You can use it to your advantage or you can use it to undermine your own happiness and that of your partner.

Since you can cognitively control self-defensive verbal outbursts, such as screaming and yelling, you can work toward constructive change by changing your thinking.  In my clinical experience, a primary cognitive driver of self-defeating, self-defensive responses is that ofdemanding that others conform to one’s desires, expectations, or wishes.  Thus, because you want something, you think that it must come to pass.  So, when your partner is late coming home on the eve of your anniversary, you reason that he must never treat you like this, and that he is therefore a bastard.  It is such a demand–that of clinging to the idea that the world must conform to your preferences, which often triggers the self-defensive response of screaming or yelling in interpersonal conflicts.

Imagine that your partner or significant other is saying or doing something that you truly don’t like.  Yes, imagine this now!  Are you imagining it?  Let yourself feel agitated, the way you ordinarily feel when this is really happening.  Are you there yet?  Now, stopdemanding that your partner be as you want.  After all, there is no law of nature that says that he must.  What goes up must come down is a function of the law of gravitation.  But nowhere is there a law that says your partner must do what you want.  You are free toprefer it, but the world does not have to conform to your preferences.  Does such self-talk help to calm you down? It does for many, as those who have benefitted from Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) would attest.

The upshot is that we have considerable control over verbal outbursts of screaming and yelling.  Sure enough, it is easier to go with the flow.  So, you are fuming inside and you let loose a tirade of screaming and yelling.  Truly, some people are hard to take. We all have been there; and we are also sometimes justified in raising our voices. However, screaming or yelling can be a useful behavioral response only when it is employed according to its evolutionary purpose, which is to ward off danger. We make a grandiose mistake when we allow this mechanism to be misused in the context of interpersonal relationships.  The demand for perfection—that things must be the way you want them to be—is a mode of cognition that often defeats our self-protective purpose.  If we realize this, then we can begin to work on the self-destructive tendency to sound off!

6 Differences to Appreciate in Your Romantic Partner

Differences sometimes initially attract people to their partners. For example, a quiet introvert is sometimes attracted to an extrovert’s bubbliness, or someone who lacks confidence is attracted to someone who has it.  Over time however differences can cause conflict in relationships (see here(link is external) and here (link is external)for a couple of research examples).

Below are some quick self-reflection questions to get you thinking about the ways in which it’s nice to have a partner who has different traits and strengths than yours.

6 Differences to Appreciate in Your Romantic Partner.

1. The ways in which your mate is a morally better person than you.

For example, my spouse has a much stronger desire to volunteer than I do.  She has better attitudes towards people who are less fortunate than we are, but those better attitudes rub off on me.

2. Healthy ways your mate copes with stress that are different from how you do it.

When you live with someone, you become intimately aware of how they cope with stress. Partners can pick up new skills from each other, or you might just admire what the other person does.  What have you learned from your partner about useful ways to cope with stress?  For example, your spouse may go for a run after work each night.

3. Practical skills your mate has that you don’t have.

Maybe your mate can make dinner for 6 without getting stressed about it, or can do DIY projects that you’re hopeless at.

4. Ways in which your mate will step in a do things that you find anxiety provoking.

Maybe your mate is the one who’ll deal with awkward conversations that need to be had with your family members or neighbors. Maybe they’ll be the one to return items to stores because you feel embarrassed doing it.  When is your partner willing to step in and rescue you from things you feel anxious about doing?

5. Are any of the qualities that annoy you about your partner the dark side of their more attractive qualities?

For example, if get annoyed by your partner’s stubborness, do you also admire their belief in themselves and their ideas?  If you get annoyed that they spread themselves too thin, do you also admire their generosity?

Pinpoint what irritates you about your partner, and ask yourself whether there is relationship between that quality and something you like about them.

This isn’t about dismissing the annoying aspect. It’s just about seeing things in gray rather than black and white.

6. Are there any specific tasks that your partner does in a way you admire or find sweet/cute/amusing?

Does your partner make sandwiches in a particularly adorable way, or do they have a super well organized system for keeping their mail and receipts in order?

It’s easy to ruminate about it when your partner doesn’t do tasks the way you like them to be done.  What do they do that’s different from your approach in a good way?

It could be as simple as their favorite weird sandwich fillings, or the goofy apron and chef’s hat they love to wear when they’re grilling out.

How to Make a Sim Fall Instantly in Love With You in Sims 3

Romance is a crucial gameplay aspect in the life-simulation game “The Sims 3.” Sims can fall in love with any other Sim, regardless of the gender and even woo Sims that are already in a relationship. However, Sims also require compatibility to begin a romantic relationship. Sims that have a negative relationship score with your Sim or are in committed relationships with other Sims are more difficult to attract. If you want to play matchmaker for your Sims and do not want to spend the extra time building the relationship, use cheat codes to force the Sims to instantly fall in love.


  1. Open the cheat command console by holding down the “Shift,” “Ctrl” and “C” keys on your keyboard.
  2. Type in the cheat code “testingcheatsenabled true” without quotations and press “Enter.” This will enable the testing cheats, which allow you to manipulate various game functions, including relationship levels.
  3. Click on the Sim you want your Sim to fall in love with and select the “Friendly Introduction” social option. This allows your Sim to meet the other Sim if they have not done so already.
  4. Open your Sim’s relationship menu and click on the relationship meter for the Sim you want to fall in love with. Drag the relationship bar over so that it is completely full. This will make the relationship between the two Sims strong enough to move on to the next step.
  5. Click on the Sim you want to fall in love with and select any romantic interactions. Because the relationship level is now as high as it can be, romantic interactions are guaranteed to work. To take the romantic relationship to the next level choose options like “Propose” and “Get Married” from the romantic interactions menu.


  1. Open the cheat command console by holding down the “Shift,” “Ctrl” and “C” keys on your keyboard.
  2. Type in the cheat code “testingcheatsenabled true” without quotations and press “Enter.” This will enable the testing cheats, which allow you to manipulate various game functions, including relationship levels.
  3. Click on the Sim you want your Sim to fall in love with and select the “Friendly Introduction” social option. This allows your Sim to meet the other Sim if they have not done so already.
  4. Open your Sim’s relationship menu and click on the relationship meter for the Sim you want to fall in love with. Drag the relationship bar over so that it is completely full. This will make the relationship between the two Sims strong enough to move on to the next step.
  5. Click on the Sim you want to fall in love with and select any romantic interactions. Because the relationship level is now as high as it can be, romantic interactions are guaranteed to work. To take the romantic relationship to the next level choose options like “Propose” and “Get Married” from the romantic interactions menu.

How to Fix a Boring Relationship

Most relationships go through a phase in which one or both people feel that the relationship has gone a bit flat and has lost its vitality. It’s a feeling There are several ways to bring the life back into a boring relationship.that is hard to describe, but the main complaint seems to be boredom. This period usually strikes after the giddy honeymoon period when life revolves around a significant other and the brain is being pumped with feel good chemicals such as dopamine. Sometime around a year to two years, many couples feel stuck in a routine and become restless. If your relationship is feeling a little stale lately, try different things to spice it up.


  1. Take a vacation together. Being in a new environment and experiencing new things can help to bond a couple. It doesn’t have to be an exotic vacation thousands of miles away. Simply taking a short road trip and being in a new town can liven things up in a relationship.
  2. Plan special dates. Most couples become comfortable and just hang out with each other when they aren’t busy. Put some effort into planning special dates. For example, go out and take a hike and explore the woods. Or plan a silly and romantic night of skating to loud music at the roller rink. A night of glow-in-the-dark bowling in which the pins, bowling balls and bowling lanes all glow makes for a cool date. Or go to an amusement park and go on wild rides that make you scream together.
  3. Sign up for a class in which you are both interested. Enroll in a dance class such as salsa, country or ballroom. Or take up a cooking class that teaches foreign cuisine. Any class that teaches a couple new things while enjoying each other’s company will put the fun back in a relationship. An art class can help partners who have difficulty expressing their thoughts and feelings to one another. A photography class can help remind the two of you to enjoy the beauty in life too often taken for granted. A class can also give the two of you something new and exciting to talk about instead of the usual topics you discuss.
  4. Take time to enjoy the small things. Instead of watching the same old television episodes, go outside and stargaze. Take a walk in the park. Wrestle playfully in the grass or snow. Give each other body massages without expecting anything in return.
  5. Try an adventure sport such as tandem skydiving, bungee jumping, cliff diving or scuba diving. Any sport that gets adrenaline pumping in the system can put the thrill back in a relationship.

How to Break Up With Someone You Still Love

When you first met and fell in love you might have thought it would last forever. Now you feel the need to end the relationship even though you’re still in love. You might realize you feel more love than your partner does. Perhaps you’ve grown tired of broken promises and the heartache of waiting for a deeper commitment that never comes. You have different goals and dreams. Breaking off a relationship while you’re still in love is painful, but if you are certain this is the right thing for you, focus on the future and follow through on your resolve.


  1. Make a list of all the reasons that led to your decision to break up. Writing them down will help you confront the inevitable and help strengthen your determination to proceed with the break. Remind yourself that you’ve concluded the negatives of this problematic relationship don’t outweigh the positives and that it is in your best interests to make the break.
  2. Arrange to meet face-to-face. Although you might be tempted to take the easier way out and send a text or an email, you owe it to your partner to look each other in the eye during this difficult process.
  3. Express how you feel without accusing or blaming your partner for your decision. It’s best for both of you if you allow your partner to maintain dignity. State what you admire about your partner and express gratitude for the good times you shared, suggests public health analyst Rita Watson in her article, “6 Breaking-Up Styles: Hers and His,” on the Psychology Today website. She also advises you speak directly without wavering. Let your partner know you’ve made up your mind and you’re not going to change it.
  4. Don’t allow your reflections of the past to overshadow the realizations you came to about the relationship not being viable, suggests psychologist Phil McGraw in the article, “Letting Go of Love,” found on his website. He warns against glorifying the past. Avoid the temptation to remember only the good times you once shared. Don’t allow yourself to forget your reasons for deciding to end the relationship.
  5. Consider expressing your emotional turmoil in writing. Composing a letter to your partner — without sending it — can be therapeutic, advises psychotherapist Tracy Cabot in her article, “Letting Go,” on the website The process of putting your feelings on paper can help you reach closure.
  6. Expect to feel a sense of loss, even though the break-up was your idea. You’ll need to give yourself time to mourn the bright future you believed you would have together.
  7. Make time to exercise; it will help alleviate the pain of your break-up. Physical exercise releases endorphins, brain chemicals that produce a sense of well-being, explains mental health author Therese J. Borchard in her article, “10Tips to Mend a Broken Heart,” on the website. Exercise can also provide an emotional lift as you will feel empowered.
  8. Don’t sit home alone dwelling on the past. Cabot suggests that although you might need time before you’re ready for a new, serious relationship, it is beneficial to get out and start meeting new people.

How to Be a Military Girlfriend

Dating a military man differs a little from a civilian relationship. It’s difficult to make long-term plans; he might just be on another Savor your time together and stay connected while he's away.continent on your wedding day. The stress involved in uncertainty can add additional strain to a relationship, but you can combat it by embracing the positive aspects of your partner and the relationship, and using outside sources of support to make it through your time apart.

Talk and Trust

  • Whether you’re cuddling on the couch or you are thousands of miles apart during a deployment, communication is the key in a military relationship. Share as often as you can and talk openly about problems and issues when they arise to foster the development of trust. Your boyfriend might not be willing or able to discuss many facets of his work, so trust is a vital component in the relationship. However, while your boyfriend is away on deployment, try to keep your conversations upbeat; don’t hide areas of concern, but don’t dwell on the negative either. Since you can’t be certain when or how frequently you can communicate while he’s away, you don’t want days or weeks of stress and negativity hanging between you until the next phone call.

On Your Own

  • You’ve been spending every evening together for half a year and then suddenly he’s been deployed overseas for months. While enjoying quality time together is an important aspect of a relationship, maintaining your independence is essential, because you might suddenly find yourself on your own for date night, every week for months on end. Focus on your own well-being when you find yourself with a substantial amount of “you” time. You can look for opportunities for self-improvement through academic upgrading, extracurricular activities and healthy lifestyle changes to nurture your emotional health while your partner is away.

Support Systems

  • You can make the times you spend apart easier to bear by establishing a network of support. While your boyfriend is away, turn to family members and friends for support. However, don’t neglect these relationships after your boyfriend arrives home. Join a military support group for wives, girlfriends and significant others. The military’s Family Readiness Groups (FRGs) offer family support meetings, plan fun events and can keep you in the loop about what’s going on overseas. You can join an online support group for military wives and girlfriends if you prefer.

Keep in Touch

  • Even though you might be thousands of miles apart, you can stay connected with your partner throughout each deployment. Talk on the phone whenever you’re able, but remember that there may be days or weeks at a time when he has no access to a phone. Write letters during the silent periods to keep him updated about family, friends and what’s going on in your life while he’s away. Make sure your partner knows you’re thinking about him by sending him a few goodies every now and then. You can fill a care package with his must-have shower stuff and baked goodies, or send him photos of you and the family, video clips, a mix CD or a thoughtful love note.